It’s easy to think too much in relationships, what should I do- - maintain feelings

What defeats a relationship is not cheating, nor the pressure of life, but a self-destructive emotion. Many people tend to think too much once they fall in love. The other person may not know it yet, but you have spent your whole life in your heart. What should you do in this situation?

Love should be done It makes people relaxed and happy. If you want to love well and stop thinking so much, you have to learn to delete these things:

< h2>1. Pay and reward are directly proportional, expect more love

Many people will encounter this problem and feel that pay and reward are directly proportional. As long as you pay more, you can get more love. There are many, but feelings are not quantifiable and cannot be measured.

And you have to know that feelings are a process of mutual attraction. When you give without a bottom line and please the other party without principles, she will not be able to get a good emotional experience because of your excessive efforts. , will make you lose your charm and release your value in a short period of time.

And because you are always giving, your focus on gains and losses will definitely become more and more important, and you will be particularly concerned about the other person's attitude towards you, as long as it does not meet your needs. You will feel that you have not given enough, and feel that you need to give more to maintain the relationship. Gradually, you will become more and more tired, and your expectations of the other person will become higher and higher.

But for the other person, your dedication is natural, and she does not need to give you more love in return. , she will even have more and more demands on you. When you are unable to meet them, she will feel that you no longer love and care about her, and she will reduce her emotional investment in this relationship.

At this time, you are still giving harder and harder. She will feel that you can't leave her, and then she will naturally enjoy your kindness and hurt you unscrupulously. She will use the way she thinks is most comfortable to manage the relationship and become more and more selfish.

2. Worrying about gains and losses, fearing that the other person will leave you

There are also some people who, as soon as they start falling in love, will become very inferior, worry about gains and losses, and always feel that they are inferior to other members of the opposite sex. , I can't believe that the other person will always love me, so I manage my feelings carefully, fearing that the other person will leave me.

So you will be aroused by the other person's words or actions. As long as the other person does not do anything as you expect, you will feel that the other person does not love you.

Even if the other person makes a joke with the opposite sex, you will think a lot and think that the other person is cheating, thus forcing you to rationalize and find out what the other person did wrong in order to prove yourself. I can't think rationally at all, my desire for control increases sharply, and I want to controlThe other person becomes what you ideally want, providing you with a sense of security.

But in the long run, you will feel more and more tired, and feel that the other person does not love you and cannot provide you with a sense of security. You will constantly have conflicts with the other party, trying to gain a sense of presence.

For the other party, what you are doing is invading her right to make free choices, forcing her to do things she doesn’t like to do, and even when she thinks about your life in the future, it will be all In this kind of controlled life, she will collapse, so you will find that even if you still love each other, the other person will resolutely leave you.

In fact, love is very simple. You love her and she loves you. If you manage your relationship in the most suitable way for both of you, you will definitely be happy. However, many people think of love as too complicated and always think about it. As planned by myself, I want to control my love. But without knowing it, he forced love to come to an end.