Some people are never short of suitors, and if these people have a partner, they often have a very stable relationship with their partner.
Some people are born insulated from love. Either no one likes them, or they fail repeatedly in love. Moreover, whether their relationship is happy or not is not linked to their appearance and conditions. Those who have a good relationship with the opposite sex and have been with their partners stably for many years may be very ordinary. On the other hand, people with good looks may also suffer from emotional frustration. How to resolve the bumpy road of love?
In fact, this phenomenon is not surprising at all. There is a very cruel social phenomenon. It's called the Matthew effect.
The essence of the Matthew Effect is: the good is better, the bad is worse.
If a person succeeds in a certain field, he will accumulate advantages, giving him more opportunities and abilities to achieve further success. On the contrary, a person who has not succeeded has no advantages to take advantage of and is not trusted by others. His chances of success will become increasingly slim.
The more love a person gets, the more confident he is, the more he understands his own attraction, and the stronger his emotional competitiveness. Therefore, it is especially easy for them to win the favor of the opposite sex, and they can easily get happiness from their existing relationship, making the relationship more stable.
And those who are not favored by the opposite sex and have not experienced love much, because they have been looked down upon by others for a long time, everyone will Seeing them as unattractive and unwilling to approach them further reduces their chances. Only some people of the opposite sex with ulterior motives are willing to get close to them, so they always encounter unkind people and constantly deal with scumbag men and scumbag women.
Some of them have been frustrated for a long time and inevitably have an unbalanced mentality. Coupled with the lack of successful experience, their emotional concepts have become more and more extreme. Therefore, we often see that the longer some people are single, the more difficult it becomes to get along with them, and they can’t keep someone who cares about them even after they finally find it.
There are also people who gradually lose their expectations for love after successive failures and become increasingly depressed. They feel that instead of trying every means to please the opposite sex, it is better to use these energy and resources to reward themselves. Boys may choose to be otakus, while girls will no longer pay attention to their own image, further damaging the already weak relationship with the opposite sex.
With all this, losers have been struggling in the quagmire of failure, how can their love life not be bumpy.
The Matthew Effect is a ubiquitous phenomenon. It is rooted in human nature and has extremely terrifying inertia. Therefore, if you want to resolve the ups and downs of love, you must learn to get out of the Matthew Effect.
The key to getting out of the Matthew Effect is to get out of frustration and decadence first, and don’t deny yourself even if you suffer setbacks.. You need to always maintain a sunny and positive outlook, constantly convey the message "I am valuable, and I am single not because I am bad" to the opposite sex, create self-created advantages to accumulate, and use the benign guidance of the Matthew Effect to continuously improve. .
Love will only come to those who are proactive, and will not leave opportunities to those who avoid and feel sorry for themselves.
