Many people equate cheating with betrayal. In fact, except for a few retaliatory cheatings, most cheating is not to betray the family. After all, if two people are willing to get married, they definitely hope that their future married life will be better. Lucky for you.
Many marital affairs are the result of intensified conflicts and unsatisfied needs.
Many people who have cheated will say "Actually, I didn't want to hurt you" after being discovered. This sentence certainly has the element of excusing their own mistakes, but at the same time it is also A word of truth.
I am not trying to whitewash those who cheat, but I just want to tell everyone who has been cheated on not to attribute the reason for cheating to the fact that they are not good enough or outstanding enough.
People who cheat often have a low sense of morality. If you start to blame yourself for cheating, not only will he not feel sorry for you, but it will weaken his guilt towards you.
And cheating only reveals the marital tragedy hidden behind it, which shows that there have been problems in your relationship as husband and wife for a long time.
So what should you do if your wife cheats?
One: Don’t do it because of pain Behavior that hurts oneself
It is normal for people who have been cheated on to feel pain, but no matter how painful it is, do not deny yourself, hurt yourself, or even commit suicide. This is a complete denial of self-worth.
This is a typical example of using other people’s mistakes to punish yourself and hurting yourself in extreme ways. In addition to making your relatives happy and your enemies happy, you will get nothing.
You have to remember that there is always more than one person in this world who is worthy of your love and who loves you. No one can do anything that is worth the cost of your life.
Two: Don’t hold on to cheating, but learn to solve the problem
Many people who have been cheated on People, just like the friend I mentioned earlier, can never let go of the other person's cheating, turning themselves from victims to perpetrators.
You need to know everything you did after the other person cheated on him, such as checking the other person’s mobile phone, checking call records, checking chat records, checking email, hiring a private detective, videotaping, following, and attacking and defaming the other person at will. ...You need to bear the consequences yourself.
Of course, it is understandable to lose control of your emotions when you encounter a marital change.
But after venting, you have to figure out what you want most about this marriage and whether you still want to be with this person.
Three: After asking yourself, you must actively change your mentality
You can ask yourself:
p>"What are you doing?What do you love about her?", "If you put aside cheating, what else is worthy of your love in him?", "Aside from cheating, has he made any other principled mistakes, or has he made any mistakes that you can't The habit of tolerance?"...
We always have a lot of helplessness about marriage. We also love and hate our cheating partner. On the one hand, he did something wrong and hurt you, on the other hand, he did something wrong and hurt you. On the other hand, you can't deny the fact that you did love each other.
Marriage is never perfect, and what we have to do is to actively create it despite imperfection.
< p> Rather than punishing ourselves with imperfections, focus on ourselves and give ourselves a sense of security, so that we will not be at a loss when our marriage encounters a crisis.