Question:
Recently a friend introduced me to a girl. I thought we had a good conversation so we arranged to meet her over a meal. During the meal, the conversation went smoothly and was quite pleasant. After the meal, I sent her home. And said we would make an appointment next time. I had a good impression of her, but then I got busy with work, so I contacted her again after a few days and asked her to have dinner with her on Saturday. She replied, "I'm sorry, I have something to do on Saturday." I wanted to ask if the blind date girl rejected me and still pursued her. ?
I think I am quite interesting and talkative, and I am not ugly. I have only had one girlfriend, and she was previously married. After being rejected, I felt very frustrated and fell into a trap. I cannot extricate myself from self-doubt.
Answer:
During the blind date process, many people think that "the conversation is smooth and more pleasant" will make People mistakenly think that the girl on the blind date recognizes you, enjoys the time with you, and gives you the illusion that there will be a next time. But it may also be just out of politeness, wanting the meeting to end smoothly and giving an explanation to both parties and the introducer, nothing more.
Specifically speaking, how do I judge whether the girl on a blind date has a crush on me or is she just being polite? It was hard to tell at the time. When you get home later, you ask her if she got home safely. If she continues your conversation, or tells you that she is very happy today, she will obviously talk more, and you may even make an appointment with her for the next meeting. She agreed, which means there is a chance. If she acts cold, that means she is cool.
I don’t know if you greeted her after you got home, and you didn’t contact her in the next few days because you were busy. Even if you made an appointment with her and said she had something to do, if something really happened, she would say sorry and change the appointment on Saturday. How is Sunday? So I think your judgment is correct, she used her behavior to hint you to say goodbye.
You said, “I was severely rejected by the other party on my first blind date. I think I am quite interesting and talkative, and I am not ugly. I have only had one girlfriend. After being rejected, I had a strong desire to Frustration, deep self-doubt, unable to extricate myself."
What you want to express is: I feel good about myself, both externally and internally; and I have only had one girlfriend. It's relatively simple. I don't even dislike her for being so much older than me and having been married before. How could she refuse me? If she refuses, I should refuse her, right? And we obviously got along well with each other. When we said goodbye, she said we would meet again next time, which made me feel like I was having fun. Why did the result turn out to be the other way around?
So, you question her and doubt yourself at the same time. What you hate is not that you like her and she doesn’t like you, but that you feel abandoned, hit hard, and feel like a failure. Even with such conditions No man is interested in you and you feel very shameless.
She has experienced marriage and knows better than you what kind of wife she wants. No matter how good the conversation is, you may just see that this man is good at chatting. I like the feeling of happiness when talking to her.Sleep. But she may analyze from the conversation with you that there is a certain gap in thinking between you and her.
Maybe a lot of what she says to you is purposefully meant to analyze you. Needless to say basic things like personality and hobbies, maybe she can analyze whether you are in a hurry to get married or whether you care about having children and raising children. The attitude of your children, your attitude towards spending money, your plans for your future career and life... and many other things. She weighs the pros and cons at a deeper level than you do, and then combines them to come to the conclusion that you are not on the same page.
This is not your problem, and it does not mean that you are bad or a failure. Suitability or not is the only thing she needs to consider.
