A failed marriage is not only a waste of feelings, but also a waste of youth. For a successful and long-lasting love, should you choose a partner who complements your own personality, or a partner who has a similar personality to yours?
1. Similar personalities are more likely to produce attraction and acceptance
Psychology believes that the personality of a person is Attitudes toward reality and corresponding habitual behaviors.
Character is the most important aspect of personality psychological characteristics. It is expressed through people's tendencies towards things, will, activities, speech, appearance, etc.
It is undeniable that if two strangers can realize their similarities, they will be attracted to each other and develop a sense of intimacy.
In order to confirm the effectiveness of the "similarity principle", American psychologist Newgam once conducted a famous experiment:
He let 10 students who had never met each other live together. Under one roof, a four-month follow-up investigation was conducted.
Experiments have proven that people who share common personality traits, hobbies, and ways of thinking eventually become good friends, which fully verifies the similarity principle of interpersonal attraction.
That is, similarity will cause people to attract each other, making it easier for them to accept and like each other.
This also corresponds to an old Chinese saying - birds of a feather flock together, and people divide into groups.
The same is true for love. Most people prefer to be with people who are similar to themselves, because this similarity strengthens and affirms their own value.
2. Complementary personalities will make getting along more lively
Unlike similarity, the famous psychologist Honor Ge believes that the "law of complementarity" also greatly affects interpersonal communication. He believes that everyone has two different personalities, explicit and implicit.
In other words, a very lively person may actually have a hidden depressive side; while a very quiet person may also become restless.
Therefore, when we meet someone with our hidden personality, we will feel excited and happy because the other person embodies the qualities we lack or suppress.
This kind of psychology is called the law of complementarity, which means that people have differences in needs, personalities, interests, abilities, ideas, etc. When the needs and ways of satisfaction of both parties happen to be complementary, each other will be more will be attractive.
In intimate relationships, it is common to see such matching of lovers, such as: a dominant person and a submissive person, a passionate and talkative person and a melancholic and quiet person, a grumpy person and a steady and quiet person.
Research shows that complementary factors enhance interpersonal attraction and can make the relationship between the two parties more coordinated and meet each other's needs.
For example, Carina Lau and Liang Chaogreat.
One is optimistic and cheerful, and the other is taciturn. They seem to be strangers, but the fact is exactly the opposite. Carina Lau said very early on that Tony Leung is a child who is difficult to take care of.
Tony Leung laughed when he mentioned Carina Lau, saying that he liked her liveliness and fun.
It seems that no matter they have similar or complementary personalities, it is possible to develop a suitable relationship.
Then why do they still part ways?
3. The factor that supports the long-term relationship is that both parties Love needs
Although similar or complementary personalities are helpful for the development of love, there is no necessary correlation between personality problems and long-term love.
People with similar personalities will develop aesthetic fatigue over time, lose their passion, and then lose their sense of compatibility.
People with complementary personalities will also expand their differences over time, thereby exposing problems that existed but were not realized before and cannot be reconciled, causing conflicts to increase day by day.
It seems that it is not important to choose someone with a similar or complementary personality.
Because men and women are two completely different bodies, both sides have different understandings and needs for love.
American psychologists believe that men and women have 6 basic love needs.
Men include trust, acceptance, gratitude, praise, recognition, and encouragement; women include care, understanding, respect, loyalty, consideration, and comfort.
In other words, every man and woman needs the above 12 forms of love. Personality is not the key. The key is what kind of love life you can accept and how both parties will meet each other's love needs.
Some people say that the success of love does not lie in meeting the prince or princess, but in maintaining love through each other. Work together, communicate and understand, and achieve positive results through mutual integration.
Regardless of similar or complementary personalities, the most important thing is love.
There is no love model that is permanent. Even if both parties love each other, this love cannot sit back and relax.
Love, from the beginning of pursuit to marriage, each stage requires different methods to maintain the relationship.
A good method can make people who are not suitable for each other become sweet in the end through running in. Bad methods can make the originally suitable each other become strangers.
Therefore, the difference is never you, but the method.
