Fans asked: Is it true that the better you treat girls, the less you cherish them? What I want to say about this question is that this situation cannot be ruled out, but it cannot be generalized, and specific incidents must be analyzed in detail. Today we will take a look at the reasons why girls do not cherish them.
1. Subjective expectations are too high
In the eyes of many people, love is selfless and not Asking for something in return. Treat the other person well, just hope that the other person can be happy. But in fact, few people can achieve "selfless love without asking for anything in return." When most people give love, they secretly hope that the other person can repay the same love.
For example:
On Valentine’s Day, you spend a lot of time preparing surprises for the other person, only to find that the other person has not prepared anything at all. Or you find that the other person bought something far less than the value of your gift.
Will you be angry if this is the case?
Obviously many people will be sulky and ask questions over and over in their hearts
“Why didn’t she prepare a gift? ”
“She sent me away with such a random gift?”
………
But what I want to say is: No Who stipulates that gifts must be given on Valentine's Day?
Since if you spend time preparing gifts for her, it is out of your own free will. Why do you still need to ask the other party to give a certain gift in return? And the value cannot be too low? After the gift is given, she will be happy, but you will not be happy.
The fundamental reason is that we hope that our efforts will be rewarded.
This kind of expectation of return is common to both men and women, that is, she can feel it invisibly, and it becomes a "request" and "purpose" for the other party, and it becomes a "request" and "purpose" for the other party. It has become a kind of emotional and moral kidnapping, so she must find ways to give feedback. If she doesn't give it, she will feel bad. Of course, there are some people who don't feel guilty, but they will also feel uncomfortable.
There are various signs. A "be good to her" with hidden demands will be pressure for her, which will naturally cause her feelings towards you to change.
2. It’s too easy to get
There is a song by Eason Chan that has very well written lyrics: "Can you get it?" "What you get is always in commotion." The harder a thing is to get, the more attractive and valuable it is; conversely, the easier it is to get, the lower its attractiveness and value.
Then, if you are too good to the other person in the relationship, and your love seems to be easy to obtain, then the other person will feel that it is not precious, or even cheap, and you will also be unprecious and unattractive.
In addition to invisible devaluation of your own charm in the eyes of the other party, because your love is too full, the other party willYou take your love for granted, and I no longer appreciate and cherish your love and you 100%.
3. Excessive control
Some friends use the excuse of "being nice to her", but it is actually an unconscious or purposeful performance to impress themselves and control others. Behavior.
When you treat him with all your heart and soul, and you are considerate enough to peel the melon seeds and remove the tendons from the orange flesh, you will definitely have a very good feeling about yourself: "Look, how good I am A qualified and gentle boyfriend!"
At the same time, subconsciously or consciously, I think: "I am so good to you, you should listen to me in everything, and you should not let me down!"
When this kind of control and compromise becomes too much, huge problems will definitely break out. In the end, the two people may break up, and the person who has always thought of himself as a sacrifice will be particularly confused about "I am so good to you, why do you dump me?" Me?"
So, when you ask, is it true that the better you treat a girl, the less you cherish her? You should reflect on whether you also have the above psychology when you are with her.
