When quarreling, men and women behave very differently. Women will feel that it is okay to just say whatever they want, so they will argue with men. But most men stay silent when they quarrel. Do you know why? Is this the case for you too?
Why do most men remain silent when they quarrel?
The root cause of this problem is actually that the demands of men and women are inherently different.
Women’s demands are: to express their emotions and gain resonance;
Men’s demands are: to solve problems and reach consensus.
The reason why most men remain silent in quarrels is because they feel that they cannot reach consensus through communication. He didn't think he was wrong, and he knew he couldn't convince the woman when she was in an emotional state, so he simply responded with silence and waited for the woman to calm down before talking. Maybe he could communicate by then, or the matter would be over and there would be no need to communicate. .
For example, I had a quarrel with my boyfriend recently:
Just last night, we quarreled over a small matter. He didn't say a word the whole time. I sent so many messages that he couldn't read them back. Later, I said we should break up, and he replied, "Don't be impulsive. I really had no choice. He kept giving me the cold shoulder." I called him six times, but he didn't answer, but I knew he wasn't sleeping. Later, he sent me a message saying he wouldn't delay me anymore, and then his cell phone was turned off, and I broke down alone until late at night.
I won’t talk about the little thing that started the quarrel. It was really a very small thing. We just need to tolerate each other, but I never expected that it would develop to the point of breaking up. The reason why I broke down is because "breaking up" is an emotional expression. The purpose is to express one's dissatisfaction and collapse with the other party in exchange for the other party's attention and transfer. It does not mean that I really want to break up.
My boyfriend also realized that this was my emotional expression, and felt that he could not cope with my emotions, so he used silence to avoid communication.
Of course, silence is not the right way. It will intensify conflicts. The optimal solution is to use the most efficient communication to deal with your emotions. But firstly, this is not his obligation. Secondly, It's beyond his ability to soothe your restless emotions at your age, so he understands to a certain extent.
Maybe many girls will be unhappy with the sentence "This is not his obligation". If the girlfriend is unhappy, the boyfriend has no obligation. coax? There are obligations, but there are also boundaries.
If the conflict comes from his faults and mistakes, such as being late for an appointment, ignoring his partner, etc., then he should make amends accordingly. But if the conflict comes from the woman's inner inconsistency and low psychological space, then the woman should resolve this level of emotion by herself, because men can't understand it.
Summary: GreatThe fact that some men remain silent when they quarrel is actually caused by the difference in thinking between men and women. As long as there are no major problems between two people getting along, there is no need to pay too much attention to small details.
